So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
