ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
