youre lurking in front of me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
