If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
