lets start a swedish sibling band together
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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