Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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