so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize