Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
