Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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