If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
