lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
