To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
