After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
