You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
