great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
