Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
