You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
