last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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