Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
