Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
