she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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