She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
