proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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