u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
