I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
Exactly.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
