Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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