I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
