great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Boobs are out for the taking
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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