I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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