uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
