so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
