I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
