K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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