before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
