i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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