Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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