YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
whose ass print is on the piano?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
