Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
