Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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