i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
