but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
