Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
