so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
