State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
