I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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