We got so high we made milksteak
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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