You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
