Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
