All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
