it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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