I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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