He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
