went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
