I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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