mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
