She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize