There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
