I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
