careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
a search helicopter?!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
