Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
